June 19- June 25, 2019
Ages 14,13,8,7
14 is the hardest. Will is quiet, sometimes unemotional, then he’s super emotional, next up he’s cranky, then overly happy. He’s forgetful, complacent, unfocused. Then all of a sudden he’s dialed in, helpful, apologetic, and self-motivated. Each day it’s like we’re learning about a new kid. I’m incredibly proud of his conviction, his strength, his humbleness, and how he supports his friends and teammates. You want a loyal friend, that’s my boy.
13 is a close second. Cole isn’t quiet. He’s always listening even when he’s not in the conversation. He’s sociable and wants social media. He just got his own phone and is learning his limits and self-discipline. He’s extremely opinionated and always has another idea. He’s witty and knows it. He’s a quiet leader which is good because he’s not always humble when he has something to say. He’s lost weight and has grown 3.5 inches since April.
8 has been good for our family. Rhett is what we call the middle age to adolescence. Thinking he is a big kid but really isn’t. Seeing so much more freedom for the other boys around him but accepting he’s not there yet. Acknowledges his limitations and always strives to be better. After he lost in the Regional final at his baseball tournament earlier this month I was telling him that his team did their best and should be proud. I heard a quiet voice from the back seat say, “I didn’t do my best.” He has visions and knows one day he can get there. Being the youngest bro is working well for this guy.
7 is halfway to 14 . Cora is her momma’s best friend who thinks I’m rich and has nothing else to do but hang out with her. It’s a pull to my heart that I’m learning every day how to balance. I’m not her best friend now, but one day when she is an independent adult, and I haven’t screwed up too much, we can be. Right now I’m teaching her to be patient, nondramatic, tough, kind yet guarded. My most difficult job! At her very first softball ‘tryout’ where she knew no one she had to walk across the field to the group of girls already huddled up. I was walking with her until she stopped and broke down. She went around the corner of the dugout to cry it out for about 30 seconds. I just stood and waited. Then she wiped her face, took in a big breath of air and said “ok I’m ready.” She wouldn’t let me walk with her the rest of the way. She killed it for the next 3 hours as I watched in awe.
Her oldest brother is another authority in her life telling her what she can’t wear and not say. The second oldest doesn’t have much to do with her until she’s too sassy and needs a reminder. The youngest brother is her friend who hangs out with her but is honest and cruel when needed.
Changing Seasons
My blog is nonexistent these days. When I only thought the early stages of newborns and toddlerhood were my biggest challenge, then came school age and teenagers. When I thought the days at home with naps and diapers took all my time, then came four kids with school events, practices and games, girlfriends and phones, dinners that call for bigger recipes, conversations that change lives, and a marriage that is still the top priority. I wish I could blog through these years and I will try to do better.
Judgment is harsh in today’s world especially when it comes from other women and especially about how we raise our kids. Never did I ever think I would be discouraged to write about my life as a mom but I have been because of fear of criticism and shaming.
Parenting Phases
As a school counselor I am always looking for professional development and ways to further my knowledge of how to be the best I can be for my students. Parenting is no different. I have changed so much in the last 14 years. I used to look at other parents for influence. I thought the best way was to see how others did it. I’ve come to realize that my ways of being a parent are unique because my children are unique! Each of my four kids need me to be a parent to them. They’re not the same so I can’t parent them the same. We can’t copy each other as parents because our kids need us to parent THEM. My kid is different from your kid.
So what you read on this blog is not in any way the ‘how-to’ of parenting. The intent is not to influence you to change. Actually it’s the opposite. My intent has always been to share my natural, real, RAW experiences of being a parent. The wrongs, the rights, the good days, and the the bad and to help my readers realize it’s all okay and normal.
Most of my posts are typed up and unedited in a matter of minutes. I’m a mom. I don’t have the time to sit and write and proofread. It’s not perfect and I’m not here to make you think it is.
I started this up in 2011. Depending on what stage of parenting you are in, go look up the years past on the front page and I promise you will find a post or two that is right up your alley!
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