Have you ever gone on a guided horseback ride? You know, the one where the horses walk the same trail several times a day following the tail of the horse in front. When our kids were younger and we still had our camper trailer, we used to go on a trail ride every time we went camping in Oklahoma. As a mom, I was excited to do this adventure with my kids each time, but also had this feeling of angst in the pit of my stomach.


I knew the horse guide led several groups through the same trails every day. I knew the horses were trained and totally used to the terrain we were riding. I knew my kids were calm and happy and excited. I was always loving the adventure too. I still had the little worry inside of me deep down of what could happen and who could control it. But it wasn’t me. So I just gripped onto the saddle horn and smiled as I watched my kids ride.

That’s basically parenting in this season of teenagers and young adults. I trust the trail they’re on, but I’m still worried. So I just hang on and smile.

Every year this week in March turns the clock of time more and more. My birthday is five days before my wedding anniversary. Each year our kids are older and busier, our jobs seem to be more stressful and our bodies a little more tired.
This year in particular I felt the nudge of seasonal change a little more than usual. Our house was loud and chaotic, but also quiet and empty. Our kids are going and coming and doing things that don’t involve or need mom or dad. Then they totally need us, too.
We have girlfriends, proms, college applications and tests, school projects, cell phones, grocery requests and car trouble. The main thing we have is change and it seems to be huge right now.

This week I celebrated my mid 40’s birthday (still on the under side), our 22nd wedding anniversary, prom proposals, HS baseball wins, and successful projects around the house.
My daughter treated me to a trip to Ulta where she taught me lessons on skincare I never knew I needed. She helped me paint a table, create a sign for a brother’s girlfriend, clean out closets and make fried eggs for breakfast.
She makes me feel young and old at the same time.
I found out my body can’t squat and pull weeds in the yard without going to bed at 7pm the same evening. I found out that watching a 7-episode tv documentary will take all 7 days due to falling asleep within minutes of sitting down.

I also found out a few other things this week.


I’m old enough to celebrate 22 years of marriage, but still young enough to come home to an 11 year old who wants to make up a secret handshake.
I’m old enough to have a kid who can drive to get my grocery pickup, but still young enough for said kid to be ‘underage’ when there’s a bottle of wine in the order.
That was the laughing finale to the incredible week we have every Spring.
“Mom, I’m here getting your order but they’re asking for my ID to take your wine.”

There’s no script for this life.
Just hang on and smile.

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