Daddo and I have entered into the season of parenting where our children no longer believe in magic. Although I can’t pinpoint exactly when this happened, it became obvious the other night when my youngest made a sarcastic remark about Santa. We’re sitting on the couch and a Hallmark commercial comes on about the upcoming movie releases and there he was, the big guy in his red suit. “Good thing, we don’t have to worry about ‘being good’ for Santa anymore,’ the 11 year old laughed. Her two older brothers sitting nearby raised their eye brows and gave her a look of ‘what did you say?!’ I responded, “Well, the rule is here, when the youngest stops believing, everyone stops receiving.” She quickly recanted her statement and promised she still believed in the big guy and the elf and all of his fairy friends!
What Happened?
When did all this maturing and rational believing begin?? Is it ever really talked about?
I can think of when my oldest let me know he didn’t believe and it 100% had to do with that tricky elf I brought into our house when he was about 9 years old. The idea of a stuffed doll coming to life and moving around the house at night was just too fanatical for him to accept. He knew that was a ‘lie’ so he figured out the rest must be too. But he never spoke of it and always went right along with all of the fun stuff from hiding his teeth, hunting for eggs, excitedly waiting for Santa to come, the whole big brother bit. He was good at it. And he even volunteered to move the elf for me when I forgot…… and that was quite often.
I do not remember when my second born realized the truth and who knows if it was a single day of figuring it out, or if it had to do with natural maturity. Working with kids for my profession, I have heard of kids finding out the truth from a classmate and then going home to demand answers from their parent. That is kind of heartbreaking to me. No telling how much more magical fun they had left to experience until they naturally figured it out.
Big Brother
I can however, pinpoint the exact moment my youngest son found out the truth about mythical creatures. Still to this day, this memory both breaks my heart and makes me proud at the same time.
Spring of 2020, quarantine, Rhett and Cora, barely 8 and 9.5 at the time, were ‘camping out’ in her bedroom. She had lost a tooth that day and placed it in our tooth fairy pillow on the shelf near her door. In the middle of the night, I did the creeping up the stairs and to her door, slowly turned the knob, knowing Rhett was on the trundle closeby. Cracked the door open just a bit and started to reach my arm through for the pillow when the hinge squeaked. Rhett raised his head and we locked eyes just as I was about to make contact with the pillow. He and I just looked at each other for what seemed like minutes and long enough for me to go through several excuses in my head of how to explain myself, but it was really about 3 seconds. He looked at the pillow, slowly raised up from his spot on the trundle, dug for his sister’s tooth, handed it to me, took the money from my hand and tucked it into the pillow’s pocket. As he sat the pillow back down and slid back under his covers closing his eyes, I just stood there and looked at him. He had just grown into a full man right there in front of me. In that moment, he found out that the magic wasn’t real for any of it, not just the tooth fairy. Every magical creature he had known as a little kid, wasn’t real. It was just mom (and dad). And in that 3 second stare, all of that came to fruition in his little mind and then he made the decision to keep it going for his sister.
The next morning Cora excitedly came down stairs with her few dollars in hand and not a word was ever spoken about the night’s events. It was a moment that Rhett and I had together and a moment that changed both of our lives.
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