I used to be a very clean person when it came to my home. Some people say I’m still over the top. But those people didn’t know me 10-12 years ago.
Before kids, I was definitely obsessive compulsive about clean. Who cleans picture frames twice a week? This 23 year old did. When we had our first child and I was still working full time, I allowed slight messes in the floor of my toddler’s toys. Which were frantically piled into a cute storage bin as soon as toddler crawled away. It was incredibly easy to keep our 2 bedroom, 1 bath home spotless with just one barely walking kid. Parenting was a breeze.
After kid #2 was born, I decided to stay home full-time. This gave me precious time to spend with my kids and to find every single dust bunny hiding in the 70 year old home. How many times a week do base boards need cleaning? My 26 year old self thought at least twice {and they were actually coated with dirt each time btw}. I cleaned the one toilet 3-4 times a week and vacuumed and swept every. single. day.
With all this cleaning, I STILL had the majority of each day to just play with my two kids.
But I actually still found myself anxiously looking around my home for something cluttered or dirty. Being a mom and a caretaker of the home was my J-O-B. With just two kids and a tiny house, I think I started over doing it because it was so easy to keep up with all of the chores. I was looking for more to get done.
After two years, I went back to work full time and we bought a bigger home with many more bathrooms. This is when I realized a dirty home quickly puts me in a bad home. When everything was easily kept perfectly spotless before, now I couldn’t keep up. I was anxious and flipping out on my kids and Daddo to keep things clean. Not worth it. But try telling that to a compulsive cleaner.
After one year, I went back to half day teaching and we had our third boy. Let’s just say, that little sucker got to see our vacuum cleaner every afternoon. And he loved it! Here’s an old post.
I started to realize I couldn’t possibly keep things as clean as I used to and I slowly became a little less freaked out about a spotless house, but still some daily things had to stay: vacuuming, laundry, dusting or Windexing, and of course sweeping. Daily. I could get this all done in 2 hours. Every day. But I didn’t have time to sit around and look for more things to clean. I had a routine of squeezing it in each day after my half-day job.
By now, whoever has made it this far on a post about mom chores, you’re thinking I’m crazy and ridiculous for worrying so much about cleaning. But we all have our weird fetishes and must-haves. Who’s to judge?
If you’re still reading {there’s a point eventually} two years later I’m back to working full time and am pregnant with our fourth person to eventually bring in more dirt. But AHA I have become smarter {some may say given up} and have hired a cleaning lady for twice a month {my only expensive pleasure I might add}. This just keeps me sane. Having help every other week just allowed me to skip one week with cleaning floors and Windexing {a verb that should be in the dictionary by now}. No way anyone can go 2 weeks without cleaning floors or glass doors. No. way.
Eventually all four of my children grew to be active, playful, energetic, hungry, dirty, and constantly needing to go places. My job stayed full time and my over the top mommy-isms became part-time. I realized that it is impossible for me to clean like I used to even though deep down inside I still want to. But just like with many other things in my past life before a bunch of kids, I have Let It Go.
You’re welcome.
So I still have a routine with cleaning things, minuscule compared to my younger life, but with a schedule, things get done. Laundry {every day} but mainly done and put away on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. This isn’t a pleasure, it’s a must. I don’t see how any 6-person family can go more than two days without laundry done. Just yuck.
Other than that I just try to survive. Dishes get done, bathrooms picked up, sheets done, and there’s a place for everything. My family helps a lot and knows where everything goes (I’m raising awesome husbands because they watch their awesome Daddo help their Momma).
But still.
I have the cleaning demon inside me. It shows it’s face at every opportunity. The very rare occasions I may be home alone, I put on comfy sweats and I clean. It’s not always on my mind. When my kids are destroying the house, or just eating, I don’t go into a convulsive panic attack. I have learned that I can always come behind them with a warm paper towel, vacuum, trash bag or broom and clean it up later. In the summer, {as a teacher} I’m home all day everyday and I really learn to relax and let the messes go, for awhile. I just know that with the full days that I am home, I have all the time in the world to clean and I’m not as worried about preventing messes.
As a full time working mom, I don’t have that unlimited amount of time {and quiet nap times} to get chores done. And I can’t just come home and clean every day ignoring my family. {that’d be bad, right?}I’ll be sitting at baseball or basketball games and what do us moms talk about? All the laundry we have waiting for us at home, or our messy house we have to eventually find the time to clean. It’s in our female DNA.
This whole thing leads me to the present tense. Last minute, Daddo decides to take the kids somewhere. Ok, ok, he took them to visit their great-grandma and I chose to stay home because I am still battling a nasty head cold. Warm bath right? You’d think so, but no. The four loads of laundry washed and folded the night before were calling my name from the laundry room. They weren’t going to walk themselves to each bedroom on their own. And can I get an amen on how easy it is to put away laundry when there are no kids at your feet? Heavenly. So I decided to take that golden opportunity before laying down for a rest.
Quickly done. It was wonderful.
Then I looked at my nasty tile floor covered in dog hair and dirt and remembered the thought I had this morning while I was arguing compromising with the terribly two year old girl on her outfit….. while yelling at the boys for slamming the door five times, each of which either to put out or let back in the cat, ‘I really need to clean the floors.’
So before sitting down to rest, I decided to sweep the south end of the house.
Now, it’s done and I can sit down to rest….
But the family just walked in the door. The quiet calm has quickly turned into talking, asking what’s for dinner, reminders to do this and sign that and stories about visiting their Granny. I remember we need to make Valentine boxes from 100% recycled products for Science class. I look down and see the dirt and leaves on my freshly swept floor just brought in from 5 sets of shoes. We grab the scissors and glue and get started.
Life can’t stop for a perfectly clean house. Not even slow down. That’s what I had to realize and change about myself as I became a parent. In many ways kids don’t change your life, they join it and adapt to how their parents raise them. But in other ways, kids change us and we have to adapt to them. Daddo and I have to go back to our little saying quite often just to keep from losing our temper and our sanity.
We are blessed with this mess and we thank Him every day.
Every. Single. Day.
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