Last Saturday I had a volleyball tournament {I’m the coach} and my youngest son had his very first soccer game. This was his first real game of any sport. Ever. And I missed it. Yes he’s my third kid and supposedly this makes milestones less big and exciting to some. But to me, I was over-the-moon happy for my third boy who wants only to be just like his big brothers. And Saturday he got that chance. And his Momma wasn’t there. The guilt was a weight on my shoulders all day. As I received text messages from my mom-in-law and husband of pictures of him in his cute little soccer uniform, I felt worse, not better. After I got home that night and finally got to talk to him about it, my four year old was over the novelty excitement he felt when he was at his game. He hardly cared to talk to his momma about the super big event that happened eight hours earlier. I missed it. I was too late. And the guilt crushed me.
It’s real. It’s everywhere. Mom guilt isn’t prejudice. It doesn’t stereotype. It grabs hold of every female who has had a child, loved that child, and left that child for a millisecond or a grocery trip, or a weekend getaway.
Mom guilt is healthy. We need it. We need to surrender to it and let it lead us to the tiny reminders of what we have, what we need for ourselves and what still makes us happy. But it’s real, and it’s universal. It’s not bad. It means you’re a good mom. So hang in there and let the guilt happen.
It doesn’t care if you’re a stay-at-home mom who homeschools and never lets your kids out of your sight. Once you do; for that Dr appointment or haircut or nail salon, the guilt takes you. You don’t make an income. You don’t deserve to spend that money for yourself. The mom guilt engulfs you.
Or the working mom who hasn’t had a day away from the job, the stress, the house chores, the kids’ activities to have the time to get that pedicure or take that shopping trip. What little money the stay-home mom has should be saved for the kids. What little time the working mom has should be saved for the kids.
Mom guilt is real. It attacks every loving, caring, selfless momma out there. Sure some of us stand up to it more fiercely than others, more stubborn for what we think we deserve. But most of us, even when we take the step to do something (gulp) for us, guilt just takes us over. We suddenly notice every little kid that reminds us of our own. We worry if we’re missed, if the caretaker is ready for us to come home, if what we’re doing is wrong.
The mom guilt is real. And I still don’t have an answer for it. It takes hold of us and takes control. It makes us turn our head for one last look and goodbye wave. It finds us checking our phone every few minutes, rushing feverishly in the fitting room or running in and out of grocery stores. It’s our instinct. When we have children, we feel their tug at our shirt tails forever. Even when they stand taller than we do, we still feel their urgency and need for our presence.
I’ve been every type of mom out there; full-time working, part-time, and a stay-home mom. The guilt we feel when we’re away from our children, having fun without our children, and spending money on ourselves is the same no matter the mom-type. When God gave us our blessings in our beautiful children, with it he gave us the amazing understanding of complete selflessness. It’s not natural until then. Humans are selfish by nature, until we are given the responsibility of caring for another. Then our every decision, move, priority revolves around another person.
That guilt is real and it is never ending. But it’s ok. If you feel guilty for leaving your child then that is only your reassurance that you’re ok. You’re a loving, caring, selfless mom. Not having those feelings of wanting to give all and do all for your child every second of the day, is the real concern.
So next time you’ve worked an 80 hour week, or missed a soccer game, or had a pedi with a friend; don’t fret over that feeling you’re having. That deep, dark, pain in your gut. That is only the pain of a momma who wants nothing more than the best for her child. She will work til her bones are weary. And the mom who is home all day with her children; she needs a mental and emotional boost away from her kids to help her be a better wife and mother.
Yes the mom guilt is real. It’s so real that you’ll miss your son’s very first soccer game in his very first uniform on that super exciting Saturday morning. But you relish that sweet, sweet time when you do get home. Or you missed that evening at home with the family because you needed a night with the girls after a week with the kids. You come home a happier mom.
Mom guilt is healthy. We need it. We need to surrender to it and let it lead us to the tiny reminders of what we have, what we need for ourselves and what still makes us happy. But it’s real, and it’s universal. It’s not bad. It means you’re a good mom. So hang in there and let the guilt happen.
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Nespresso Capsules Vertuo, Variety Pack, Medium and Dark Roast Coffee, 30 Count Coffee Pods, Brews 7.8 oz.
$37.50 ($1.25 / Count) (as of November 25, 2024 09:31 GMT -06:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)NESPRESSO VERTUOLINE VARIETY PACK ASSORTMENT: This Nespresso coffee assortment offers 30 Nespresso Pods in a variety of 3 best-selling coffee blends for the Nespresso VertuoLine System.10 Stormio, 10 Odacio, 10 Melozio INTENSITY: This assortment will... read more
