Tonight my mom, Grammy, had us over to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. A small family affair, it was just Grammy, Uncle Ash, Mr Ronny and cousin Jan who braved the night with.. Us.
Immediately after getting there, one boy is crying from getting slung to the ground in a game of football that somehow started as soon as we got out of the car. Then we walked in the house and before I could say, ‘how can I help?’ Cora started crying. She looked down and saw Grammys old Beagle, Patch, and she squealed, turned red and got big eyed from the sight of him. She pretty much didn’t stop crying for about 30 minutes. We tried milk, Tylenol, orajel, Mylicon, a nap, nothing worked. During the time I was trying to quiet her in the bedroom, I heard one of the older boys say, ‘uh oh, Mom! Rhett went tee tee!’
Yes on the floor, too busy with his Lincoln Logs, the kid who just rode 3 hours in the truck without a potty break, just peed all over Grammys refinished hardwood floor. Daddo said, ‘Not it!’
But oh he was seems how I was soothing the crying baby and all.
With a change of pants, a partly soothed yet still awake baby, we made our circle for the pre-dinner prayer. Afterward, as the rest of us are just making our way to the dinner table with our plates full, Rhett has already demolished his ham with his fork and made a carbohydrate mess with his mashed potatoes and Mac n cheese. ‘I done!’ he said. Normally this is when Rhett is told he must sit at the table and wait for the rest of us to finish. But tonight, I just wanted to enjoy my dinner and adult conversation with my family so we let him go back to the logs. Mind you, all during this time we’re all having to keep Patch the Beagle out of Cora’s sight who is now on the floor playing with her chew toys on a blanket. That is Cora Love, not the dog. The dog who is also blind. So just moments into this lovely dinner, someone at the table catches my attention to look at Rhett over on the floor with his logs…. In a dog position on all fours, back arched down, hiney in the air, face turning red. ‘No!’ I yelled. ‘Hold it!’ no. He didn’t hold it. Back to the bathroom Rhett went. This time he had to spend the rest of the evening underwear-less under his pants. I came out of the bathroom B- lining it to my seat at the table determined to enjoy my adult dinner, when I heard about Cole’s joke that he just told. It involved a man getting kicked in the b—-! He said proudly that he made it up. He then started crying when he saw the looks on everyones faces. Quickly he then said he heard it from a friend. He surely didn’t hear it from us! So I’m now embarrassed in front of my own family. Then cousin Jan comfortingly says, ‘Ya’ll are so entertaining!’
So that’s it. After a crying baby, pee, poop and dirty jokes at the dinner table we’re either not getting an invite next year, or the family will feel the need for some entertainment and let us join. Either way, the ham was delicious.
Oh and Cora Love still squealed and cried at Patch as we walked out the door.
Love you Mom. Call me tomorrow?!
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If you don't get an invite, we'll just all get together. Ya'll fit right in with us.
I never finished my plate….