The Scream We All Know

But all of us Mommas know what that scream sounds like when something bad has happened. I’ve never heard it from one of my own kids, but I still knew what it sounded like. The one that makes your heart stop, your emotions immediately go crazy to scared, sad, mad all at once. You maneuver yourself in ways you never knew you had the ability just so you can get to that scream the fastest. You know it’s your child on the other end of this heart wrenching sound and you want to get there, but you’re afraid of what you’re going to see. I finally felt that yesterday, and boy is it one of those times I don’t wish on any parent, though I know it happens all the time. 

We had just told the kids not to run or play while we walked around the construction site of our new home. Daddo and I were upstairs discussing some walls when Rhett told me, “Look, no hands!” as he balanced on the edge of a beam on the second story staircase. “No sir! Get back from there!” I scolded. “Do not play like that or you are a $4000 trip to the Dr when you fall and break a leg!”  

My heart stopped and I envisioned the other way that could’ve gone. You know, he falls straight down 12 ft to a jagged staircase breaking his leg in half. I saw this in my momma mind and got the chills. So I told him to go down stairs and not to come back up. We turned and went back to talking about walls…

The squeal, then the scream, then the inaudible words of a kid who was too hurt to talk and then more screams from the youngest two.  I took off running and yelling “What?! What is it?!” I quick-stepped down my family’s new staircase that I will climb up and down for decades to come. I remember rounding the corner to head out the back to the scream and imagining what it could be. Our minds really dream up the absolute worst things that could happen to our kids. I remember after our oldest was born, I used to daydream about bad things happening to him; falling out of his bumbo chair, choking, suffocating and my daydream only got worse as my kids grew. Now I see them getting run over in parking lots, still choking (my friends know this fear I have) and of course horrible illnesses. I remember asking my mom if something was wrong with me having these bad thoughts. She explained that mommas love their kids so much that they are fully aware of what could happen to them and it’s just part of their instinct. Boy, I believe her. Momma instincts draw vivid pictures of how to keep our kids safe. 

But when they’re naturally active, always looking to have fun no matter where they are, like my kids, I guess those accidents will eventually just happen.

Rhett left me from upstairs after being scolded for balancing on a staircase beam, and went down and started playing hide-n-seek with Cole and Cora. My kids can find a place for this game where ever we are. They’re bored? Hide-n-seek. But at a construction site, that is not using the kind of common sense we pray they use. So my thoughts while running down those stairs and rounding the corner to the back patio: a nail in a foot, even in a head, a broken arm or leg, gashed open head and I think that’s all I had time for before I actually saw Cole. He was hunched over on the ground still screaming, blood coming out of his mouth dripping all over the concrete. He had a look of horror and pain but he saw me running to him. I got down on the ground and saw his lip dangling open and blood just pouring out (the lip bleeds a lot I found out) and then I saw parts of his two front teeth laying to the side about a foot away, together about an inch apart like Cole had just placed them there. I grabbed them in my hand, looked in his mouth to make sure his tongue wasn’t chopped off (thankfully no) and then started the “What in the worlds?”  You know. When you see your kid is alive and nothing protruding, still breathing, so the story needs to be told even before we stand up off this dirty concrete covered in drips of blood. He pointed to the 2 X 4 that was posted up horizontally on the back of the patio and I knew he had clotheslined right into that sucker. I envisioned it. I was consoling him the entire time. Really thankful in my heart it was just his mouth. Even his teeth. I still imagined much worse. So I was still scared and worried but thankful. Daddo was mad. He was mad about them running when they were told not to play around the area. I knew he was mad so I had to
do the loving part of the parenting. Because now, the next morning, I am livid. It’s good how we flip flop and take turns on the emotions. The kids get a little dose of each one. So Daddo’s storming off to the truck, the two littles are crying because they’ve never seen that much blood and they’ve also never heard a scream like that, and I’m hugging and walking Cole to the car with a towel under his chin. 

So four kids, multiple sports and activities  and adventures and playful shenanigans and this was it. Our first ER trip for stitches (and an X-ray). I’m still thankful. It could’ve been so much worse. I’m thankful for our amazing Doctor last night who talked calmly to my son and was gentle and worked efficiently. I’m so thankful he made a personal call to a great dentist he recommended and set up a time for us to go in today. Miracles are for sure everywhere and they come in all sizes and shapes if you just look around. The X-ray came back clear of facial or jaw fractures. He has several stitches and a swollen lip or two. The doctor came back in with a crispy five dollar bill after everything was done, gave Cole some knuckles and said this was for doing everything he asked and being tough. Cole cracked a smile and then moaned in pain. 

No smiles from my Coco for awhile. But my heart is smiling and thankful. It’s also mad and wanting to yell and scream. I guess these things will happen again in due time. Until then, I’ll just keep imagining the worst… just like a crazy momma does.